Artemis Fowl

Leaving aside the question of how faithful it is to the source material, the movie debut of Artemis Fowl still doesn’t make much of an impression.  Adults and older teens are likely to find the plot an anticlimactic and muddled mess, although younger children may be won over by the action set-pieces, humour and special effects.

Premise:  When his father (Colin Farrell) goes missing, 12-year-old genius Artemis Fowl (Ferdia Shaw) learns of the existence of a secret underground world of fairies and other mythical creatures from Irish folklore.  His quest to rescue his father from the magical underworld soon brings him into contact with the giant dwarf Mulch Diggums (Josh Gad) and with the fairy police offices Commander Root (Judi Dench) and Officer Holly Short (Lara McDonnell).

Review:

First things first, I’ll be upfront about the fact I’ve not read any of the Artemis Fowl books, so I can’t comment on how they compare to this film adaptation.  That said, I’ve heard from people who have read the books that this movie diverts wildly from the source material, to the extent that you could almost accuse the filmmakers of having kept the names but changed everything else…  However, because I’ve not read the books, I am able to judge the film on its own merits, with no preconceptions or expectations.

Unfortunately, even judged on its own merits … it’s just not very good.  It’s not awful – and younger children in particular are likely to be very entertained by the blend of gadgets, humour and magical creatures – but for the rest of us, it’s just a bit of a jumbled mess.

“…instead of feeling epic in scope, the film feels oddly small & mundane…”

The film apparently condenses the plot from the first two books into one movie, which is ironic, because it actually feels like there’s barely enough plot to fill the 95 minute runtime.  The set-up seems intriguing: young, bored genius Artemis Fowl learns that his father was somehow connected to the fairy realm, and that he’s been kidnapped by a shadowy figure who’s demanding that Artemis Fowl finds a magical artefact called the Aculos if he wants to see his father again.  You’d think that this was the perfect set-up for a fun quest-style adventure, like a cross between The Goonies and The Kid Who Would Be King, but you’d be wrong.  Don’t expect to see any heroic journeys through the hidden magical world – the truth is, Artemis Fowl barely leaves his mansion for the entire movie.  Instead of the film feeling epic in scope, it feels oddly small and mundane, despite the big VFX budget and allegedly world-threatening dangers.  For a film about magical creatures, it also feels oddly devoid of any real magic.

Although the plot is underwhelming, that’s not to say it’s straightforward either.  The film is packed full of magical lore and mythical rules that may make sense to readers of the books, but which are fairly impenetrable to new viewers.  For example, at one point a fairy “time freeze” is collapsing, which apparently is a bad and dangerous thing – except no one really explains why it is, and then when a character gets caught in the collapsing time freeze, nothing really seems to happen to them after all?  Even director Kenneth Branagh, who did such a great job building the universe of the first Thor film, can’t rescue this convoluted mess.

“…none of the cast have enough material to make a huge impression…”

The cast aren’t particularly bad, but the script doesn’t really give them anything to work with either.  Ferdia Shaw does his best as Artemis, but there’s no real depth to his character, and he just comes across as wooden and out of his depth for the most part, rather than enigmatic and one step ahead of everyone else.  There is certainly no sign of his apparent “genius” after an initial interesting scene with his school counsellor (which was apparently one of the few bits taken directly from the book).  Colin Farrell essentially just has an extended cameo, Judi Dench spends the film deliberately hamming it up as the 800-year-old fairy police commander, and Josh Gad acts as the narrator and comic relief – but none of them have enough material to make a huge impression.

Lara McDonnell stands out as doing the most with the material she’s given as fairy police Officer Holly Short, but even then I get the impression we’ve barely scratched the surface of her character in terms of what’s in the books. That said, I could see McDonnell going on to do more interesting work off the back of this performance.  Nonso Anozie brings a bit of gravitas and humour to his role as Artemis’ bodyguard, but essentially he’s just there to deliver exposition – and poor Tamara Smart, who appears as his 12-year-old niece, gets absolutely no character development at all.  She’s literally just … there.

“…unclear what this film is even trying to be…”

The film’s flaws really do all come back to its weak script and confused and muddled plot – for example, one character is introduced as a spy in the fairy police force, but there’s no explanation of their backstory or motivation, and so their actions later in the film are just confusing.  And don’t get me started on the confusing rules about the use of magic – at one point, the use of magic is “jammed”, but the fairies are still able to fly and their energy weapons (which I had assumed were magically-powered) still work.  Does this mean the fairies have magical powers and sci-fi energy weapons, time-manipulation technology, and personal flight backpacks?  In another scene, it’s said that the fairies can’t enter a certain place without permission, but it’s never explained whether there is a magical barrier preventing their entry, or just a code of honour?  And then there’s the question of what Artemis’ father has been doing for years – the film seems to suggest the Fowl family has been acting as some sort of protector of the peace between human and fairy worlds, which seems a million miles away from the novels’ depiction of Artemis Fowl as coming from a family of “criminal masterminds”.  As that was effectively the novels’ main selling point and what made it unique, it leaves you wondering, what is this film even trying to be?

Ultimately, the film is unable to overcome its a dull and muddled plot, a quest that doesn’t involve leaving the house, a vague and under-developed main character, and a villain that’s nothing more than a place-holder concept.  It optimistically sets up a sequel/franchise, but this uninspired introduction (which barely even feels like an “origin story” given how little we learn about Artemis Fowl as a person) seems likely to be the beginning and the end of this series.